Useless Product Satirical Ads

{
  "type": "4-panel satirical product advertisement grid",
  "layout": {
    "grid": "2x2",
    "panels": [
      {
        "position": "top-left",
        "product_name": "{argument name=\"top left product name\" default=\"sitting stone\"}",
        "visual": "man in white shirt and dark pants sitting on a large round stone in a park",
        "catchphrase": "Stay calm, anytime, anywhere." ,
        "sales_badge": "Total sales surpassed 12,000 units!",
        "vertical_text": "The day the park benches were all full." ,
        "features_count": 3,
        "features_labels": [
          "Weighing about 8kg for outstanding stability,"
          "Resistant to scratches with felt finish on the bottom,"
          "Easy to carry with the included dedicated strap"
        ],
        "extra_visual": "small inset image of the stone with a leather carrying strap",
        "specs": [
          "Load capacity 150kg",
          "Reliable Made in Japan"
        ]
      },
      {
        "position": "top-right",
        "product_name": "{argument name=\"top right product name\" default=\"Toothbrush for people who don't want to brush\"}",
        "visual": "sleek light blue toothbrush angled diagonally on a dark blue background",
        "toothbrush_text": "I don't want to brush my yeeth.",
        "catchphrase": "Just having it gives me peace of mind,"
        "vertical_text": "Instead of brushing your teeth, you have this." ,
        "sales_badge": "Total series sales surpassed 85,000 copies!",
        "features_count": 3,
        "features_labels": [
          "A talisman that calms your mind,"
          "For etiquette before meetings and business negotiations,"
          "Make choices you don't polish, more freedom."
        ],
        "bottom_banner": "Brushing your teeth frees you from stress."
      },
      {
        "position": "bottom-left",
        "product_name": "{argument name=\"bottom left product name\" default=\"Cloud Piggy Bank\"}",
        "visual": "hand inserting a coin into a fluffy white cloud-shaped piggy bank",
        "catchphrase": "Lighter than air, a sense of security." ,
        "sales_badge": "Total sales surpassed 23,567 units!",
        "features_count": 3,
        "features_labels": [
          "Fluffy texture",
          "Safe because it won't crack,"
          "Design that blends seamlessly with your interior"
        ],
        "color_variants_count": 3,
        "color_variants_labels": [
          "blue",
          "pink",
          "white"
        ],
        "price": "¥2,980 (tax included)",
        "bottom_text": "Starting today, let's steadily accumulate toward the sky."
      },
      {
        "position": "bottom-right",
        "product_name": "{argument name=\"bottom right product name\" default=\"Scolding Stone\"}",
        "visual": "round stone on a wooden desk with a pen, text written on the stone",
        "stone_text": "{argument name=\"scolding phrase\" default=\"いいかげんやれ\"}",
        "catchphrase": "For those who feel unmotivated." ,
        "sales_badge": "Total sales surpassed 18,000 units!",
        "features_count": 3,
        "features_labels": [
          "Every time I see it, my heart is stirred,"
          "Randomly displayed carefully selected words",
          "No batteries needed, scolds you almost forever"
        ],
        "phrase_variants_count": 10,
        "phrase_variants_labels": [
          "Don't be spoiled,"
          "Don't Think,"
          "Move,"
          "Face reality,"
          "Don't run away,"
          "Don't sleep,"
          "やればできる",
          "You can do it,"
          "Don't sleep,"
          "Stop making excuses."
        ],
        "price": "¥3,500 (tax included)"
      }
    ]
  }
}